Thursday, October 23, 2008

Self written marriage vows......whaddya think?





I really like the idea of marriage vows written by the couples themselves as opposed to the traditional " i promise to love you for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..............bla..bla..bla




I've seen a no of movies where the couple wrote their vows and read them to each other and and I absolutely loved it...guess I’m an incurable romantic.....(i know some people who'd disagree tho..)lol!


Anyway, In my opinion, traditional vows though familiar may lack some of the benefits you gain from writing your own vows.

Here’s a quick review...


Traditional Wedding Vows


May or may not have personal significance

Are often merely “pretty” wordsUsed only on your wedding day

Likely don’t enhance your relationship on an ongoing basis

Self-Written Wedding Vows

Deeply meaningful to YOU

Your unique intentions, desires, hopes, and dreams are written out as reminders of what the two of you want to create in your life together.


No one has the exact relationship that you and your partner have.You wrote them, so they’re always within you, ready to use at any time.

Simply going through the process of writing your vows can deepen your connection with your partner


anyway, for you fans of
Grey's anatomy....did u see d last episode of season3?

the episode where Christina( the intern) and Burke (a cardiothoracic surgeon...hence the subsequent reference to "heart") were supposed to get married ....and Burke left Christina at the altar cos he felt she didn’t quite want to get married and would only go ahead because she loved him and had given her word...
for me, that episode was “da bomb “especially the part where Burke got to run his vows by some of the ladies...
The script went thus...

Burke:
Cristina...I could promise...to hold you...and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in health. I could say...till death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for...optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. And I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope.


Addison: Okay, um...


Burke: I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful. I am sure. I am steady. And I know. I am a heart man. I take 'em apart. I put 'em back together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So of this I am sure...you are my partner...my lover...my very best friend. My heart, my heart...beats for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this...I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands. I promise you... me.What too trite? Because I can rewrite it...

Izzie: No. No. It's...


Addison: I think I speak for...every woman in this room when I say dump her. Dump Yang and marry me.

i was like "waoh!!!!.....and i got teary-eyed at that point....

Those vows were a special "love language" between the couple....though some people might find it a tad dramatic, it was supposed to mean more to them than any conventional vows would..........(someone pls remind me.. its only a soap.....lol!)

anyway, my man had better be ready to write me some deep mind-blowing vows.....I’ll sure do the same...

so peeps....what’s your take on this? do y'all feel me or would you rather do traditional?

9 comments:

emeka said...

i think burke is just a fine poet. he's all about words. you don't have to write a book to let a woman know how much u love her.show her that u love her by being the man. Act it out and stop competing with hardley chase.

tinymediagh said...

sel written vows are cool...why would i say stuff written by someone ages ago to my wife when i might want to say some other stuff..that more reflects what i have in mind than what someoels had in mind ages ago when he wrote the traditiona vows...personally i want to start by saying a big thank you, then making my promises, and saying it my way.....though dont get me wrong if youre gonna go traditional and can personalise every one of the word..why not...just be sure to mean the vows

tinymediagh said...

hahahaha....traditional vows are "traditional" in the real sense of it...i can say them even right now. but sel written vows...its cool.....you say it the way you feel bout it...you are more likely to be honest than act if you write it out...moreover you can always refer back to written vows when the storms come and use it to hold the centre togehter but traditional vows are just it...vows written by some ancient reverends releveant to their times and maybe needing some spicing up...........

Pelli said...

Na so U dey; the incurable romantic dat U are.
Are you even sure U didn't shed some tears while watching.
Yeah I've actually been thinking of writing my own vows but U know d norm won't allow dat ............ well, we'll C how it goes ........... hope U r good. Take care.

temi said...

@emeka
i hear you bros....of what use would d nicest words be if they werent backed by any action?

@tinymediagh
really romatic....a'int we?
u know ladies luv it...just be sure to really mean what u say!

@pelli
sweetie...u know me 2 well...lol!
how u dey? + u can always tell d "vicar"...who knows? d old man might bend the rules for you if u donate enough money for the harvest! ...lol!!

rayo said...

i'm with self written vows anyday, who came up with the trad one btw? woulda loved to watch that episode...

Yewande Atanda said...

self-written vows? I don't think i'll subscribe to that.

temi said...

@rayo..
honey ,dat episode was sumthn' else...u watch too? dats like my favourite soap of all time...there are just so many things i can relate to...d characters, their imperfections, struggles, strengths,issues,.....i just luv it!

@yewy...
we'll just give u some time to catch d bug! lol!!!how r u?

Vera Ezimora said...

I'd love 4 my husband and I to have self written vows. It's just that I'll be sooooo shy. LOL. I'm a shy babe ooo!!

But that cardiologist's vow....dang!!! Shoot, he makes me wanna marry him. lol. Who cares if it's just a show?